Good morning witch’s
Well it has been a while! Don’t worry I’m still here, but I will admit that the first half of 2023 has been tough. And I’ve found myself at something of a cross roads in my life. Quiet ironic really as at the crossroads of your life is where your more likely to bump in to the Goddess, trying to get your attention and lead you on the path you should take, her flaming torch’s leading the way.
Not going in to to much detail, these blogs aren’t ment to be a free therapy session. But there has been a lot of upheaval in the personal life of this Witch in the last 6 months. We’ve had to move the family to a new home, my Gentleman friend of long standing, has gone out of my life and I’ve been under a lot of pressure at work. So the first half of 2023 hasn’t been kind to me. On top of that the little lose coven I was a part of has fallen apart. Not through any internal fighting but people grow and some times have to move on and that has been the case this time.
So coming up to my 50th journey around the Sun, for the first time in a very long time I’ve felt truly alone, unsure of the next steps or what even to do next.
As my material world fell apart, it’s knocked me off centre in the Spiritual realms as well. Questioning everything, not feeling like I was in the right place to do Ritual, or even attempt Spell work – although I have, not gonna say it backfired but the results where so of intention it might as well have done! Meditation and keeping a strong core have all gone out the window and I’ve been brought down to even past basics, back to the bedrock of the foundation of Faith and Spirituality. And as all of these things where stripped away and I questioned everything! and I mean everything! I have found a small silver stream of knowing right at the bottom of my dark night’s in the Cave.
When I say I questioned everything I mean everything! My brains has been firing off all sorts of unresolved issue’s and dragging up long past situations which clearly hadn’t been dealt with at all. I’ve questioned my faith, the way I present, my Masculinity, my Femininity, my purpose in the Craft, how I do things, what worked and what didn’t. I’ve looked at my Rituals, the kind of spell work I do and even had to go back and remind myself of the moon phases! it’s been tough going.
I’m not going to say that I’ve crawled out of the Cave just yet, there are still things that I need to find answers for but I hope now that things will start to fall back in to place.
On one of the rare nights that I did mediate over the last 6 months I got a very clear message from the Goddess.
The image of the Hermit came forward in a very clear way, you know when it does that it just can not be questioned, you know exactly what you’ve been shown. Was it the Goddess being cheeky and telling me that I had spent to much time withdrawn from the world, or that I need to withdraw from the world? Was I in a time of teaching or was this the time to step up the teaching? Was I being shown the way or did I need to show the way? Was I being shown that I was now truly a Solitary? The vocal message I was given was also very clear, She said to me ” Call yourself a witch if you like, but we both know it’s bigger than that”. What the in gay hell did that mean?! Did I have to dump the Witch aspect and look for another path to walk along? Or do I need to open up my practice so that I didn’t box it off and pigeon hole it in to just another section of my life? Also the Hermite or the Sage is the Male archetype of the Crone. So I am entering my Crone years now? Do I become the crazy old witch who has been there and done it all and got the Wisdom to prove it? Well that wasn’t working for me now, was it? Or am I just being the male witch equivalent of menopausal, seeing as I’ve heard the calling of the Crone?
It’s times like this when perhaps it’s best not to question or try and quieten down the thoughts rushing around your head and do a reality check, just so that you know what you have around you and see if that helps point the way.
I need a new lover that’s for sure. what’s a witch without some one to bang on a regular biases? That search is still on going so if anyone male is interested send me nude’s and lets talk, it’ll be a hell of a lot more fun then Grinder is! Also what was that little trickling stream of energy that was illuminating the bottom of my Cave?
I surprise’s really It was the Goddess her self. The one thing I’ve been able to hold on to, the one thing that has stayed in sight (energetical if not in true Vision). Right there, at the bottom of my core, at the foundation of my Spirit there she is. Providing light and hope and a hand to hold as I navigate the next phase of my path.
Hail Hekate and bless the Dark Mother. For she never gives up on those she has taken to in and given a home to. I am truly one of those.
So I might not be as regular in posting as I would like, and it might look as if all is Dark here at West Berkshire Witch, but belive me I’m here, I’m watching and leaning. Keeping an eye on those I hold dear. And totally available for those who have a need, only ever a txt or email away.
Enjoy the sun over the Bank Holiday weekend, be Blessed
Laters Witch’s.